Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ashley's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
5:35 pm	Holy crap!! The last few months have been crazy!!! In july I attempted suicide drank a half gallon jug of bug spray. In june I got a DWU wrecked my car ran over my leg went and then went to jail for 15 days!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
6:33 pm	what the fuck am I thinking!!! My drinking to much in one night has gotten out of hand, so I'm done I can't be like this enough is enough!! I have lost so many kick ass friends because of this I've even lost one of the most amazing women I've ever met and I don't know if it can be fixed. What is a matter with me I'm so pissed at myself what the fuck..... (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 28th, 2004
11:08 am	Well this is my last entry. I'm going to delete my journal I'm just not on here enough. I'm so busy I've started donating plasma 2 nights a week. I don't spend as much time in the bar as I used to I've dropped those friends and have surrounded myself around folks that don't go out much. I have another job and have been seeing someone and still making time for friends. My phone just doesn't stop ringing and I like this busyness I was getting tired of coming home and doing nothing. So now that I deleting this thing can anyone tell me how? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 4th, 2004
9:43 pm	So, I thought I would jump on here and share a thought. One of friends was hurt yesterday her 4 wheeler rolled on top of her. Thank god she wasn't hurt bad or killed She's just really sore. Tonight I just wanted to take her something. I feel so bad!! So I took her some candy a pay day cause she's going to need money, a Rolo sense it rolled on top of her, a Dr. Pepper no need to explain that one, some whoppers cause she has whopper bruises, some gum for when people come over she wont have bad breath, and some fun dip cause she's a fun dip and I'm glad she wasn't hurt more. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 6th, 2004
10:31 pm	hmmmm... (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 4th, 2004
2:58 pm	Things on my mind Hmmm... I've thinking about my friends lately. They are all so different we've never lied to each other, we don't fight, we hang and have good times. I'm thiking about this lately because of the people I used to hang out with. They are odd ducks they lie to each other, and play games with in themselves. I really didn't see this until now. I was sucked into there games and now that I look at them I'm really glad to not be apart of that group of people. It sure did use a lot of energy. It's all so crazy! As for today I went to work and didn't do a damn thing, but pick a book a co-worker brought in so I started to read it and found that I couldn't put it down. When I got off I went to the library to check it out. The day is gloomy so I'm going to read it and hopefully finish today. Also I've been thinking about my last entry and I feel bad for saying things the way I did, but it's all the truth. My conensense is a killer one I can't say mean things about someone without feeling bad, I guess that's a good thing. What else so much on the mind. With this whole assult things will pop up in my head and I get this sick feeling. I start a group at the end of the month and visit with a counselor in october. I'm looking forward to those cause I'm having a hard time holding this stuff in and a hard time letting it out. I have been visiting with a lady who deals with this stuff so that's been nice. This whole thing has really has changed me I'm starting to notice these changes. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 30th, 2004
9:47 pm	Fuck you fucking fuck I have got to do some venting and this is the place i'm choosing to do it so here it goes. This ex of mine named Tina is fucking crazy! The girl couldn't tell the truth if she tried. She lied to me tonight all I was doing was calling to give her shit back and I wasn't going to just take it there I don't want to go near her place. So on the phone I ask if we can ever talk again and she tells me she doesn't know she's not aloud to talk to me because of the investgation. What the fuck she had nothing to do with anything the police didn't tell her that. I don't even know why I'm so pissed I guess I just really hate being lied too. If I could go back to the day I met her with what I know now then I would say get away from me you dumb fuck your're crazy. My life has been so much better now that she's not in it. I've been so happy not talking to the girl who lied to me about everthing for the last 2 months. Before I got with her folks told me not to get involved with her cause she lies so much, but did I listen no. I now see what they were saying. I'm so pissed that I let her lie to me I knew when she was lying to me, but I didn't call her on her bullshit. I have so much more to vent about but I just can't get it out. So all I'm going to say is Tina your're fucking crazy. No wonder your're not happy with yourself all you do lie about shit and you don't really care to much for yourself. Stop blaming other people for your actions and blame yourself. I'm really sorry that you do that stuff to yourself, and I hope to god that you never get the chance to treat anyone else the way you have treated everyone in your life. Now that I've said this shit I'm moving on to the things that have made me so very happy. NOw I feel so much better! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 29th, 2004
6:27 pm	This is long so no time for checking it Wow, what a night I had last night! I went to my girls Mike and Leroy's new pad last night to check it out not really expecting to go out. I wasn't dressed for going out at all I just went out to have a few drinks and good conversation with the girls. I wasn't even looking to meet anyone and it turns out i did. It was crazy I watched this really hot chick walk in and then didn't think much about it then Leroy tells her that she is really pretty. That's over then later on in the night I watch her talk to this other chick (tattoo chick) who appers to be hitting on her so I ask Leroy if he thinks she's gay. He didn't have a clue so I ask the bar teneder if tattoo chick is gay, she said yes but she's in a relationship. So I go and talk to tattoo chick and tell her good work on hitting on the hot chick she then tells me that shes in a relationship. So that was the end of that. It just so happens hot chick is talking to me girls, so of course I talked to her as well and ask her if she's digging on tatto chick. She said she didn't know I tell her that she is in a relationship and hot chick tells me she not down with that. We talked some more then she asks if I want to hang after the bar scene. Of course the girls invite her over so we all hung out. Hot chick kept telling me that I'm so cool and asking if I'm likeing her. I was liking her, but I was unsure on how to go about being flirty. I girls kept telling me to be myself. Cause very time I went to the bathroom she would ask them if I liked her. I finally get my shit together and kissed her. It was awesome! Then is was on from there. We ended up staying at the girls house and that's where I end my story. Well, not quite there was no sex for me I have to take things slow I'm in no place for a relationship just in a place to hangout and have a great time. Okay that is where I this story! The girls did however get some pictures of us messin around so that's going to be good to see. It was so fun to just kick back and have a good time it's what I needed. I didn't do a whole a lot of drinking the girls made a comment that I wasn't drinking like I useally do. That's because it's time to start taking control of my awareness. Can't do that if I'm drunk. I was just finshing up my third drink when LeRoy finshed his pitcher and Mike was on his 6th drink. It feels really good to go out and not be drunk. I'm doing very well with dealing with this assult. I'm not going to sit around and feel bad and tell myself it was my fault. I've surrounded myself around good folks that care, and have let the negitave folks go. Life is good and I'm having happy fun!! Wait a sec I still have to talk about how hot this chick is. She is so my type, but I've never been able to be with a girly girl. She's tall and skinny with long black hair and olive colored skin. She wears dresses and make up she's all kinds of girly! Dam she's good looking. All the girls I've been with have been cute, but not hot. Craziness!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 21st, 2004
1:53 pm	I want this women back so bad! I have never cared for someone so much!! my heart is broke!! (Comment on this)
1:42 pm	Life is shit right now! The gf broke it off with me she said, she needed some space, and that she is not giving up on us she just needed sometime. I'm am so hurt this sucks! On top of all that I was hurt by something else i can't say what it is, it's to painful for me to even talk about right now. I go to counsling next week. I can't get through this on my own!! It was 3 in the morning when this happened, and I didn't know what to do so I went to the ex gf's she called her mom who happens to a po and we went from there. I feel really bad that she called her mom, but I didn't ask her to she just did it. the ex gf told me the next day that I made the right choose for going to her and she made the right choose in calling her mom. My life right now is so choppy! I'm so not with the program after what happened. I feel so empty and dead inside. When it rained it poured!!! (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 14th, 2004
2:42 pm	I used to have shit to say on here, but these days it doesn't seem like I have much to say! There's not nothing going on my life I work and chill with friends. (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 18th, 2004
7:51 pm	I'm Hurting Why does life have to be so fucking hard sometimes!! Fuck, Fuck, and Fuck!!! I'm in love and it's killing me!!! (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 1st, 2004
3:40 pm	Well, it's been forever sense I've posted...I haven't been atound a computer! Life, has been pretty damn amazing lately!! This girlfriend is rocking my world!! We fit together very well I've never been this happy I can't find a damn thing wrong with her nothing drives me crazy about her...it's awesome!! Her friends kick ass I'm glad they have become a part of my life. Fuckin' awesome!! This weekend will rock I'm going to the lake to enjoy some water fun...good times!! Lia, Thanks so much for coming to the game!! Life is good!!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 18th, 2004
1:16 pm	I haven't been undating as much I'm not around the computer much. My mom kicked me out of the house kind of. It was really for no reason she just gets mad at the smallest things. I've been hanging out a lot with the girlfriend she's so choice we really have a great time togther. That's all I really want to say! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 15th, 2004
10:03 am	It's been forever sense I posted or even checked this out! I've been a busy kid I played softball all weekend...super fun, Jen and I are no longer together it was bound to happen wish it would have happened sooner, I'm now seeing someone else, and I found a job until I can find something better, all that in a week crazyness!! Let me take a few seconds to talk about this new chick in my life. Her name is Tina we meet because she's Jen's ex she asked me to play softball this weekend. It was crazy Jen and ended it on saturday and Tina I hung out on sunday evening. It really just happened wasn't really planned. One of the hardest things about this was telling Jen. I easy way to do was to let her find out, but the hard way was telling her. It was hard to tell her, but I had to tell her. It wasn't pretty for a few hours, but I think it's okay now well I think Jen is okay with it. I didn't do this to hurt her it just happened. That's all I have to say about that! Things to do today: Find a job Pay to play softball Talk to my slice finish laundry pay bills then cry and be stressed about money Looks like it's going to be a great day! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 10th, 2004
12:23 pm	I made it to wyoming on monday!! I cried when I got into town, it feels so good to be here!! It's been a great week I've hung out with my slice, Lia and have a little bit of time with Jen. The other night Slice got the idea that we should go and BBQ on the mountain at the falls. That was a super idea it went great until I got have way through my burger then it tasted like lighter fluid...good times!! It really does feel great to be back, although I do miss the ladies in cali we've talked often this week. California was good to me, but Wyoming is better to me. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 6th, 2004
8:25 am	I'm leaving for Wyoming today! I'm really not looking forward to driving I'll be there Monday evening! (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 5th, 2004
8:29 am	Well...I said good bye till next time last night to my friends! Today is my last day in California for awhile. I think I'm going to take the kids to the beach today...and just kick it!! (Comment on this)
Monday, May 31st, 2004
4:08 pm	"What a bunch of Apes" "Everyone fights no one quits." "if you don't do your job I'll kill you myself." This movie had some of the cheesiest lines! Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 30th, 2004
6:23 pm	Wow...I'm almost done here! The week is going to go by fast I have a busy week of watching kids. Sunday I take off for Wyoming...I'm really getting lonely if I were to be away from my family, Lia and my baby any longer I don't think think that I would make it. So much has happened in the last 10 months! I've learned, grown, and changed! I'm really looking forward to bringing this new person home. My relationship with the folks will be stronger, my friendship with Lia will be more mature, and I'll get to start a relationship with a women that I've always had a thing for...I'm done with this phone thing I just want to be in the same room as her. I'm now in a place where I'm much happier. No more coo cooness!! I'm anxious to get home Current Mood: anxious (1 Comment |Comment on this)